nothing tight i'm going to stuff myself with food and alchy
woke up in a shopping cart using a keystone box as a blanket. how was your night?
Apparently he doesn't remember leaving the bar
If I spent $100 at the bar and didn't get laid I wouldn't want to remember anything either
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
Life lesson today, a six foot hot guy I meet at a party CANNOT fit on my bike with me.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
It was all good till you had ppl chasin shots of ciroc with fucking applesauce
Plus, I have my cousin, the dominatrix, to help me out if things get out of hand
Learned two new lessons today: 1) Do not identify pills found in one's car by taking them to see what happens, especially while at work, and 2) There is no logical reason to keep ambien in one's vehicle...
Randomize
