I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Had to use the product locator on on the four loko website to find them at home. Got to go in the backroom of a grocery store to get them. Dedication.
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How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Next sat night Titanic party. Bring your floaties, trashy necklaces, and a large lung capacity. This ship is going downnnnnnn.
We had car sex in the parking lot of the dispensery while he blasted Tony Bennett. It was so fucking romantic.
When we were fucking he said and I quote "we're like a sex fajita"
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I was walking around the party holding a dog on my shoulder like it was a parrot
There would be some who claim I got a little "carried away" or that we "probably don't need that many jello shots". They would be wrong.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
It's only funny because he thinks you had sex with him to rob him.
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
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