How did people poop without Blackberrys?
Motorola Razers?
Stone age, man.
i woke up today to a handjob from this really fat girl that keeps calling me michael phelps
i went to throw her on my bed and threw her straight in to my bike
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
Hey do you have anything at your house 30 ft. tall to throw eggs off of?
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
bah. we'll see. don't give yourself a boner of false hope.
Just woke up with an eye that wont open, a half eaten piece of pizza on my chest and a raging boner.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bad idea to be in a car concussed. I just described his dick as an elevator. I think i meant escalator, i dont know
You kept saying you only wanted to drink until you were sleepy. You succeeded if "sleepy" means you sleepied around with 4/6 of the guys there.
Do you count doing $200 of coke off his dick until 6am as a successful rekindling of our relationship or...
You're dick is like the main character. It needs its own picture.
You tried to wave to Meg on Family Guy and got upset because she wasn't waving back
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Randomize