That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I've been awake for 20+ hrs. What does that mean? I just realized if BSB were Twilight characters, Brian would be Jake and Howie would be Edward based on the video for "Everybody". That's unsettling.
It's unsettling that you took the time to think about that.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
She just ended a sentence with "and he doesn't even mind my herpes..."
Just thought you should know that your brother tried to febreeze his floors with cooking spray last night.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Hello and welcome to the game 'Matt needs weed'! Rules are simple: first one to find a bag wins the fabulous prize of getting stoned with yours truly. Thank you for playing and good luck!!
I went home with a guy last night because he showed me some magic tricks and kept shouting "THEY'RE ILLUSIONS MICHAEL!"
I picked up a chick last night on crutches wearing a I am boobman tshirt. I love raves.
Just wanted to let you know it's 3am and, at this point, I believe your sister has more of my semen in her than I do. So suck on that, fuckface.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
how do you tell someone, in the most complimentary way possible, that they would make an excellent stripper?
Randomize
