i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
she came over and started getting naked and said its not like i came over to just hang out
youve hit the jackpot
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
high in an attic. pig roast in 10.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
Ran into his mom at the bar, i told her "i know he's married now but I'd still do him"
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
Remember that time we turned a can of Axe body spray into a flame thrower?
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Randomize
