But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
I've blown a few things in my day
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
At my wifes high school reunion. Found out her nickname was 'Back Door Brooke'. EVERYONE is calling her that.
Did strip banana grams actually happen last night
Vodka?
Forever.
He was making Jim beam nachos. Chips soaked in whiskey with cheese
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
I can't believe you won 5 grand from the casio last night and spent more than 80% on tacobell and strippers already
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Is it bad I use my AA meeting to hookup with guys?
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
