Currently having a discussion about how bad cheating is with the girl im dating and the girl im fucking. This might be a sign that i need to reassess my life
he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
he put a lighter in my cleavage and said "you're like another pocket!"
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
A valiant attempt to obtain a backhoe was made
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
If I get over there and the april fools joke is that there's no HBO, I'm setting fire to the place.
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Instead of more alcohol, I decided to drink tea. Lets slow clap it out for me
Buffalo PD walked in my bedroom this morning at 7 am. Was still blackout drunk, fully dressed, Steak Out wrapper on the floor, parking meter on the floor of the bar room. 'Both of your doors were wide open, wanted to make sure no one was robbing you.' Then I made a pass at her.
Yeah, I've hit on priests at bars, too. Such a shame, there are a lot of hot men out there who've devoted themselves and their glorious genitalia to the Lord -_-
Did your grand seduction include learning to play careless whisper on a kazoo or was that just a hobby
We've been fucking like crazy ever since she quit her job..ive been running errands all day to stay out of the house and give my dick a day of rest
I hate my life now
OMG OMG OMG I just throwed up in his pillow case when he wentto start the sho wer, time to grab my bra and bounce!!!
Wow.
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