He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
shes still asleep dad put a lobster in her bathroom
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
If it's not soft enough to fuck on, then we're not getting the new rug.
He tried to finger me at Disneyland! He tried to taint the happiest place on earth!
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
If my penis could make facial expressions, it would constantly have a smile on.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
IF THE GUY WHO I AM BORROWING OUR CAR FROM FINDS ONE CONDOM OR JIZZ STAIN IN THIS CAR HE IS GOING TO CASTRATE MY ASS. SERIOUSLY, DON'T FUCK IN THE CAR.
IM AT A ROOFTOP FUNDRAISER LOOKING OVER THE WHITE HOUSE I WILL NOT RUIN MYSELF
i just used a selfie stick to take an ass pic. i hate myself.
My mom just said "okay girls, the ONLY thing i ask is that you stay sober Saturday afternoon, until halfway through lunch. And you don't wear that crystal camo hat. This is a funeral, not a tailgate party"
Best wishes.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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