Now we are really drunk and her 17 yr old cousin is shitfaced. He may or may not have proposed a toast to octopuses and double fisting. And we just drank to Mexico.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
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It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
after i talked him through a bulleted list of why we couldn't have sex he just said "but it would be fun...."
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
this probably sounds so sketchy, but hes going to jail in a month so he needs a place to crash for now. Hes sick though, and hes paying half our rent
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my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
Not only did my parents pick me up from his hotel room in the morning, but he also came outside and had a casual little chat with my dad through the driver's side windrow.
I just bottomed with the last unicorn playing in the background. I've hit a new level of gay.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
Dont be alarmed when you come homeand see a guy handcuffed to your bed. His name is james. Ill uncuff him when I get home
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