Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
People are allowed to visit it's just they can't be from Germany and have to wear masks.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
We're friends. And when I drunkenly send u a pic of my left testicle i would appreciate a response.
He showed up to the Seder drunk and tried to convince everyone that he could read Hebrew.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
You tried tipping the cashier at Cook Out by shoving a dollar bill down his shirt and yelling "Magic Mike"
Welcome to the difference between being FWBs (remember how we used to see who could get more lap dances a night?) and being in a relationship. Fun, huh?
Stalker pic that shit
He left, I think he got uncomfortable when I started singing 'oompah oompah doodley do, I have a special riddle for you'
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
I don't know how to explain to you that you tried to recreate the bit from the Dana Carvey show where a guy dressed as Bill Clinton breastfeeds a bunch of puppies
Randomize
