So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
He just slept in my bed for a couple hours and asked lots of questions about gay sex. No, I do not have his number.
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
Some random at the bar just whispered in my ear that he wants to eat me out while on bath salts....
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
And we just chatted casually as i peed on the floor and she peed in the toilet
We smoked a blunt in a stall where a drag queen was fucking a bartender in the ass. So theres gonna be a second date :)
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
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