i just defriended some girl because according to her status she "doesn't give a fuck about shark week."
making your facebook status TEQUILA is like basically saying "im easy tonight. feel free to take advantage"
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
he kept saying that we were in ian's fun time place and then continued to act like a dinosaur.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
What happens at the gay bar stays at the gay bar. Except that I sold my panties for $100. People should know that.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Bro i pulled the fucking willy wonkas gold ticket of ratchets the other night this chick was a real treat god bless her
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I need to just embrace dildos and cats and call it a life.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
You came in yelling "I'm el scorcho" and then axe can flamethrowered my dresser. Awesomeness aside, you owe me a new dresser.
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