My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I promise you I could read that dogs mind, he was arguing with the other dog saying he knows how fucked up I am
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
It's just like riding a bike. Only it's a dude's face.
Pizza delivery...for when you need to eat your feelings for the sex you aren't having
I feel my soul being ripped out of my eye sockets
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
Is there a single word to describe 'the last guy she slept with before meeting her husband'? Cause there should be.
By talk things out did he mean have passionate angry sex?
can we not speak foreign languages when I'm on drugs
Is it bad that whip cream tastes like sex to me?
The best thing about last night is when drunk Lauren asked cop if she could smoke a joint in front of him. And next thing I remember she’s smoking weed with a cop. How awesome is that.
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