weddingsv make me drug and hornr
and honestly a story about how you met your future husband that DOESN'T include the words "creeped him on facebook" is really not a story worth sharing
I was just on craigslist and saw and ad for a naked yoga instructor. I will no longer be jobless.
She sent me a text saying she picked out 17 different Halloween costumes for our kids when they hit the age of 4... The cling factor should have me running right now but honestly I'm just curious
We played shuffleboard at the bar last night...another sign we are getting tooooo old.
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
I have vomit stuck in my nose, you should come with a warning label.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
you really need to remember next time not to write your name and phone number on the paper its wrapped in.
But what if it got lost?
its illegal. you dont want people to contact you if they find it.
A duck just looked me in the eye whilst I peed in a lake. I feel so dirty.
We are 100% horrible people, and im extremely happy we are friends
totally just stole a 24 pack straight out of the miller truck
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
Randomize
