His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
On a scale of one to trashy, how is this: Got drunk, gave a guy a hand job. In the middle of the bar
I think you broke the trashy scale
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
we literally hit three floors of our apartment building searching for condoms. also got macaroni.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I'm sorry. I know you didn't expect me to be arm deep in vagina when you walked through the door.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Next year for Halloween you can be the sword swallower, with a penis shaped sword.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
How do u ask ur friend if shes keeping her kid but in a chill way
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I burned my tit while he banged me and it was still the best kitchen sex EVER!!!
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