I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
You were screaming across the bar "BUYING US SHOTS ISN'T GOING TO MAKE US STRAIGHT, YA KNOW!!!!!!!!"
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He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
I just took a dump to end all dumps. Other dumps have already written ballads about it. It was the Armageddon dump. Bruce Willis was there, it was awful.
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
That ACT prep teacher knew i was hung. I could see it in her eyes.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
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I told the American that we should start banging in Canada incase I get hurt and have to go to the hospital.. is that rude to say?
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
I have no regard for my liver, you should know this.
My ex unfollowed me on SPOTIFY bruh. Freaking spotify. The butthurt is real
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Mimosas make me so tired. I just ordered a huge thing of pasta and gonna eat it in my underwear like a bad bitch
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