Remember that time I came into your room after taking a muscle relaxant and we argued about what state has the longest coastline?
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
Can't find our DD
He's backstage giving the strippers foot massages.They kidnapped him the moment he walked thru the door.
Why am I sticky / covered in baby Tylonel?
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I haven't listened to news as I've been having lesbian sex all night. Anything new?
When the bouncer doesn't let you in... Don't ask him where he works so you could file a complaint with the better business bureau... It only proves him right.
It's 5 PM...and you're 35. Congrats on being an amazing human being.
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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