Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
You were rubbing your foot on one of your legs and kept saying, "My sock feels like a waterslide!"
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
Remember me drinking the vodka from in between your legs?
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
P.S. I just made up pleasure scepter for the purpose of that last message.
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
First highlight of the semester: campus safety caught me peeing in the dirt parking lot by kappa. Then as they were about to write me up, they recognized me, laughed, and left.
I just want nice things and good sex
I tried to take home a cat on broadway last night. I named him Pinocchio and put my purse down on the sidewalk and tried to put it inside it
Bed, food, and you got really nice boobs. That's it really. Foundations of friendship right there.
Randomize
