It started with Hannah Montana and ended with alcoholism.
I'm good, just tired from chardonnay and giving hand jobs.
You know the guy who poops at a party and then leaves and you go in, do your business, and come out and there are girls outside that think you pooped and no one talks to you? I'm the guy who poops before you go in, because I'm in a relationship and I hate you.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
Watching this movie and saying "drink every time you see an animal" was a bad idea...circle of life...holy crap
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
you inspire me to be a worse person
LOVE ME LIKE A KANGARO LOVES A POUCH YOU DUMB CUNT
She's currently celebrating her completion of "Sober October" with "Margarita Shit-Show November."
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
Just so you know, I woke up with 2 oven mits in my bed and no clothes on.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
I have to sleep with him. We're too much alike. It's like clash of the titans, except instead of clashing, he's putting it in me.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
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