I dont know whether to be proud of myself for not driving, or being proud that i was so messed up I couldnt drive
You did not just nickname me "Nipples".
Everything is bigger in Texas. Including Colt's vagina.
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
There was a picture of him proposing on the night stand and their dog watched, but I can't help myself, his dick is just so perfect.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I'm too socially awkward and sexually frustrated to get through this evening sober.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She told me having sex was our civic duty. How can I not love her?
WHY DON'T YOU WANT TO BE MY ESKIMO BRO
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Honestly, this social distancing bullshit is giving me a good excuse for drinking alone.
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