Fun fact of the day the average american will consume 13248 beers in their lifetime.
So for us it's double that?
Precisely.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Umm. Any where really. Alcohol and boobs. Those are the requirements.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
He walked into the bar right as I was licking the shotglass clean. We made eye contact for way too long..
Listen. I don't care if its "nontoxic" im not putting it in my fucking vagina.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
This is amazing. I can pinpoint the window in time that you lost all sanity.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She left me naked in my bed and without my phone I had her give me her phone number on the calculator on my laptop. It might be fake.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
That moment when your whole family facetimed you just moments before you threw up all over the entire living room
so we just got back from swapping peoples patio furniture around to different patios. some people might like unexpected change. others might regret living on the ground floor.
Randomize