I just saw a guy give a mop to his fat wife and say "Look, an exercise stick!"
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
Also thongs make me have to fart a lot.
so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
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so basically i'm the" little sister", he's the "big brother" and we just fucked
jack dropped his pants and said "bet u've never seen a dick this big." which was really sad cuz i had never actually seen one that small...you have like pinch it between ur thumb and pointer finger to give a HJ
Reindeer Drinking Games will soon commence. Get over here while we're still sober enough to answer the door.
all you kept yelling was "i'm bored and i'm sober"
the maid of honor just got in a fight with the mother of the bride at a gas station across the street. best. wedding. ever.
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You were running around with scissors offering people free haircuts.
he aimed his bare ass at the sparkler, farted, and it really did work...i love 4th of july anal fire works
so i made out with some dude last night at the bar. and some girl just stood there and watched. i felt bad so i made out with her too. She looked like she felt left out.
That's why they call him "the cheesegrater".
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
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