dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
why does my vagina smell like weed?
omg thats a great idea
surprisingly enough, it isn't that uncomfortable to have sex with a heart monitor on
He's Hawaiian. Thank god it wasnt a real American
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
I didn't ride the struggle bus so much as drive it backwards off a cliff.
My parents are takin me for chinese food for my 4/20 present.
I fucking hate you.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
So the bar crawl I'm on is a "90s bar crawl" and I made the joke about a few overweight girls that "lack of concern for your weight is so 90s" it did not end well
I mean I've only met the girl once and she was trying to slit some guys tires.
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