I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
they're mlb prospects.. of course i'm gonna bang one of them.
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
My walk of shame got a new perspective when I walked into his livingroom and found his roommate fucking some chick on the coffee table.
there is beer in every square inch of this apartment and he hasn't even lived in it for 24 hours. we're playing some game that involves slamming beer, beer pong and smacking people's cups out of their hands.
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Almost to work. And still feel hungover. Like my body is trying to regenerate after dying. Full on zombie shit. But like, one of those zombies from warm bodies that comes back to life slowly.
Nothing like a little " am I gonna shit myself " to spice up the work day
We shared a dick. We're practically sisters!
You can tell by the way he cuddles that he's got mommy issues
Also: that bruise on my leg where you left like 3 sets of teeth marks keeps getting run into the corners of desks and shit. And I can't even complain to anyone at work
i looked that guy up on facebook. the one who went down on me for two hours
what's the verdict
i've been scrubbing my vag all morning
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