I learned to sign I want to be on you today
Score
Deaf chicks here I come
I just saw a man vacuming his front lawn. What is this world coming to?
We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
Meh. I'll learn enough German to ask her for a handjob, then I'm out
You never cease to amaze me.
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I think this agreement was sent by God. I get to do my own thing, get laid, and he still makes me breakfast in the morning.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
I only live four blocks from the bar but when you're hammered this walk feels like the journey through Mordor.
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