i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I swear to god he was trying to crawl under my door last night muttering "I'm Alex Mac! I'm Alex Mac!"
I'm reading about reasons for wearing clothing. IS THIS COLLEGE OR PRESCHOOL?
I can't wait until weight watchers comes out with a beer
Why do fat girls all have such cute faces?
God wants them to get laid too.
I stumbled in at 6am to find my cat in the window making a noise I've never heard her make. When I went to the window there was a goat outside staring at us.
Are you sure? Or did you just think there was a goat?
No there was a goat. I gave it a donut.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I fcuked ip.
Is this your way of telling me that you got drunk in your office before meeting with your dissertation advisor again? Or that you finally banged that freshman fraternity pledge?
I need more social interactions that don't involve sex
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
Dude so help me god I WILL weigh a penis one day
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Dog. I woke up between my ex boyfriend witch i'm currently fucking and his bestfriend spooning me in MY bestfriends empty powerless house still really fucked up. No one knows what happend.
Randomize
