also. he gave me a foot massage during 69ing when i got a cramp. he's a winner.
I cant help but love a girl who informs me of the pregnancy test results by emailing me a YouTube clip of Barney Stinsons not a fathers day speech.
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
I burst into tears on the boat this morning because we bumped a duck in the head. I am way too hung over for today
We're using joints as your birthday candles
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
There's a naked man in my car right now.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
He wore a t-shirt that had an arrow pointing to his crotch and "DO IT FOR THE VINE" on it.
At least he's honest about how long he'll last.
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Unless it involves a lot of whiskey, an ACDC concert, and a guy named Juan from the Philippines, then I'm not interested.
I JUST PETTED A FUCKING SQUIRREL. A SQUIRREL.
Randomize
