Too late. I'm going over there. I'm a bad example for all women: Do as I say, not who I do.
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
Me and Phil are just drawing pictures of thumbs in different costumes during lecture. I love being a senior.
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
Michelle asked what I was wearing tonight. I responded with a g-string and plastic wrap. I've gotten no response since.
Yes stubble LOOKS hot but factor in his shitty bj skills and I might as well have jacked off with apricot scrub
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Did you get an erection too during Paul Ryan's speech?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
U have successfully fucked my brains out. I just almost put deodorant on like chapstick
Playing pong against a girl who fucked my ex boyfriend so that's how my nights going
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
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