Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
My gynecologist just commented on how well my vagina was waxed
Do you remember Kelly my alter personality? She talked like a man and would sing amazing grace?
its like the body should be a temple but we treat it like a kmart
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
His words said "save me", but his penis said "I'll take my chances"
Is buying her a loofah for my house commitment like? I don't wanna give the wrong idea
It was over as soon as he asked if he could name my vagina pancake.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
I don't think Buddha would recommend a sexscpade across Mexico
Did I just pee in the Taco Bell parking lot?
Yep. But do you remember wiping with my quesadilla?
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
