dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
He started yelling "we're making a baby" mid thrust.. probably not the right guy for me right?
if i hurry i can finally have sex while stoned off my ass
godspeed.
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
He kept stopping sex to whisper in my ear, and the only thing I could understand was "double stuffed oreos"
You have no idea what this goes for my ego. I literally made you cum in your sleep.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
Just remembered I said your cat looked delicious last night.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
This lady is talking to me and all I can think about is getting face fucked and doing cocaine. Not neccesarily together and not neccesarily in that order
Randomize
