I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
Take one last look at my face, because I'm drinking it off tonight.
About me waking up with a tatto of a hamster with a top hat ?
hey.....beach week happens
Also I just saw on facebook your sister is taking pole dancing lessons. Just a heads up.
NoDDING MY HEAD LIKE uyuEAH MOViUNG MY HiPS LioKe YEAhhhhhhhhhhh
wow.
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
and that's why he's hiding in the taco suit
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I'm slowly starting to accept that you have to be a sociopath to be attracted to me
Oh, I also stabbed a guy Friday and he still asked me out
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