We should be called the Road Head Warriors
I projectile vomited into my sink. Jealous?
Kind of. My puke would have just dribbled down my chin and missed the sink completely.
Ohh that happened after I started to cry.
I miss vodka workout Fridays
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
If you're wondering why you have playpen balls it's because we stopped at chuckie cheese on the way home.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
yup and then I snapped out of it and realized I was playing beer pong against a 4 year old... and losing
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
I would throw a dart into the Olympic ceremony and fuck whoever it hit
really who shits their pants then locks themselves out of their apartment? ... I threw my underwear out in a random bathroom
You did an excessive amount of blow and then screamed "WHO THE FUCK NEEDS A LADDER?!" And then Mario style wall-jumped onto the roof. It was one of the most impressive things I've ever seen.
If she didn't have scissors in her hand I would have motor boated the fuck out of her when she was done cutting my hair.
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