sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
He offered to take me out to a nice dinner but I told him I would rather he just pay for my beer this weekend
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
NO. NO LET HIS PENIS TOUCH YOU.
Rick Santorum just suspended his campaign. Lets celebrate by watching gay pornography together.
This stranger told me I should "start playing for the other team" and then continued to talk to me about the joys of being a lesbian
Know your penis has been the topic of conversation over glasses of wine.
The sad part is that if I don't get a random pic of your balls or ass or both every month, I start to worry that we're not friends anymore
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Some guy just ordered at Cosmo and 2 screwdrivers in the sky club at 8:30 am. I'm starting to feel a lot better about my alcoholism
So what are you going to be for halloween?
A woman sitting on her couch watching Hocus Pocus.
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
Always keep a stash of tequila in your work desk. That is like adulting 101.
Randomize