Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
No I am not eating basil off your cock
I feel like I owe it to them to wear pants.
It's like all my brain cells are screaming at me.
I'm dying.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I walked into Anna's room this morning and she was like teary eyed, with pizza sauce all over the place
I'm tripping pretty hard right now but every time a Volvo drives by I feel like everything is gonna be alright
Of course, it's a law of friendship. "Thy friend Shalt always hold hatred for thine friend's swinish ex"
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Randomize
