did you wind up at some random place? and do you remember face planting into the fireplace?
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
the potatoes in the margarita machine wasn't the breaking point. its when he turned on the stove and put a bunch of bottle rockets on it that i knew the night had prematurely failed
In college, I had one standard. Penis. A lot has changed since then. Now I really only have one standard. Breathing.
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
Feel better punkin. Your balls will be gently resting on my forehead in no time
Dude, I just hit your nipple with a bottle of lube while you were wearing a shirt, 10 feet away without my glasses and I only have "not bad" aim?
the police report says i screamed sanctuary from a jungle gym at the playground when they caught up with us, obviously they disregarded international law.
Out of all the things you could eat off of my tits you choose lettuce? Thats so healthy. Yuck.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Btw, the reason I have a black eye is bc I needed to puke so hard yesterday morning; I whipped up the toilet seat so fast that I railed myself in the face. Then spent the rest of the day more carefully puking. Kind of why I'm not in the mood for drinking.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
