His uber religious wife caught us having anal sex in their bed..... she called us sodomites. Can you even be a sodomite if you're a girl?
You're not a sodomite. You're a whore. Tell her to get the insults right. Did she try to save you with Jesus?
She said she'd pray for me. Man, if I had just caught my husband balls deep in some ho, I'd say fuck the praying and kick her ass.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
I just want to let you know it was a unanimous decision that we would eat you first if we ever turned into cannibals, we figured with all the bacon you eat you may taste like it. It's a chance we are willing to take with your life...don't forget that we love you
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
Actually some of the best sex I've had involved a lot of laughing.
How small IS your cock?
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
fuck Derek. I choose weed. weed isn't angry and would never ask me to be someone I'm not.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Now I just sit back and wait to give ass birth to pure evil.
"Fuck all you guys I'm going to be Cameltoe Spider-Man for Halloween."
Far be it from me to tell you where you store your dildos but from an interior decorating standpoint not fucking there
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