Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
so some random man just messaged me on facebook "tig ol bitties" should i be concerned?
There comes a time where you just have to sit back and watch the drunken idiots pee on each other
sold 4 oz of weed today pantsless. man i love college.
Found my wallet. It was under my dresser with a note that said "good job you found me". Drunk me is an ass.
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
I now own a bag of cigarettes and have no purse, awesome
I though us hooking up in the field was your way of saying you were an outdoors person
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
My mom just told me she would flash her tits to a cop to get me out of jail, and then we high-fived.
Is your gma going to be okay with me passed out drunk on the ground
my nextdoor neighbor called me saying "um hey, your mom just stumbled into bed with me and my husband, can you please come get her?"
Well I told him I’ve got the flu....he said he’d wear a condom
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
Randomize
