Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
we sang "a whole new world" together. either he's my gay best friend or the love of my life.
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
we used a swiffer mop as a stripper pole.
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Spent 200 bucks on a stripper for a good night hug. I give up.
I'm going to a foam party and gonna grind someones dick off hayy
I wish you could see how much hot sauce and broken glass are in our apartment right now.
Right now Tom has the 2nd floor office bathroom under siege. He shit/clogged one toilet, and he's throwing up in the sink.
An "unreasonable amount of ejaculate" isn't a reason to be angry at me.
a guy just skateboarded past my window in a bunny suit while chased by a dog walker
How did delivering mac n cheese to my drug dealer become a two hour outing?
This is random but I just wanted to thank you for all the things you taught me sexually in life.
Randomize
