He has that cheese in a can and he's eating it. I have never seen that outside a goofy movie.
A moment of silence for all our pussy whips bro's who had to endure the NEW MOON premier!
went to the gyno and found out that i have a birthmark on my clit. its like god gave guys a little help when it comes to getting me off.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
I broke stuart's oven and showed up to the party with a squirrel.
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
You should try cooking mac & cheese naked sometime. It's quite relaxing.
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
She has the perfect pussy. Looks like a paper cut with a puff of cotton candy on top.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
I never thought it would be so hard to find a power hour partner at 2 on a Wednesday
How did the date go? No fake eyeballs this time?
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
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