How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
he smells like the inside of heather mills' fake leg
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
We're playing a drinking game to 'how to train your dragon'. has it really come to this?
so i may have indirectly taught my 13 year old campers how to give blowjobs.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
couldn't find my pants so i stole a pair of shorts from the passed out kid in the corner.
A 40 year old man just put his hands on my thighs and said in these exact words "you're so beautiful and gorgeous and innocent. But life sucks and you'll probably turn into a whore."
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Also CANADIAN LIPS TASTE OF MAPLE SYRUP AND APOLOGIES. SORRY.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Things are coming back to me in chunks. I vaguely remember signing a shirt that said 'I enjoy vagina'
I AM SO PROUD OF YOU
WHY DO I KEEP FINDING CHICKEN THROUGHOUT THE HOUSE? GET YOUR ASS HOME NOW!
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
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