i wouldnt be suprised if in indian your name meant "walking lie"
Have you ever noticed that nowhere is the same thing as now here, i get my best ideas when i smoke
If he eats mayonnaise, he's not getting laid. End of story.
Oh this totally just became legit. My "boss" is puking outside my car right now. I win again.
ALTON JUST DID GRAVY SHOTS. THIS IS WHY HE'S MY HERO
For the record, chili cheese fritos are not a chaser.
Of course... Double fistin nati light cuz the powers out and it cuts down the times i gotta open the fridge... Genius
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
Next year, please remind me not to be at a damn Super Bowl party with screaming children whose parents can't control them. I will sell the little suckers to the fucking circus passing through town.
STOP FUCKING TELLING PEOPLE ABOUT THAT TIME THAT GUY CAME ON MY FACE WHILE I WAS ASLEEP!!!
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Look, I need your help, not your judgment.
Randomize
