No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
She got mad when I told her I'd bone her mom. She got MORE mad when her mom heard, and was flattered by it. Proud to say I attract MILFS.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
Teenager with grandparents staying in their room: is to blue balls, as parent waiting for teen to come home safe: is to sleep. You will live- love mom
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
Why is it every time you ask me what I'm doing, I'm at a police station?
I feel like vibrating beds are just synonymous with venereal diseases.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
Dear in laws. I am not spending any holidays with you. I dislike your company. A lot.
Randomize
