She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
Now there's vomit covered trash all over the front lawn. I feel accomplished
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
Let's just cut to the chase. I'm not interested in anything romantic but I aAM interested in Tom Petty and maybe getting high and fucking you again for old times sake.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Well they kicked us out after we started heckling the acrobats
I don't even care that his girlfriend will be there. Us hooking up is a tradition and she will NOT ruin it.
What drink are we having for lunch?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I woke up with a cutting board and a bag of uncooked pasta next to me.
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
Randomize
