ill give you a foot job if you come over before 4
fuck dude i blacked out on a tuesday. what am i doing with my life?
Winning.
My porch is a mess of peanut butter and tostitos...thanks for that.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
Ive yelled into your vagina. There are few lines we haven't crossed at this point.
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
I kinda wanna Instagram the giant vag stain on my sheets. That is something to be proud of. It's a Christmas miracle.
Sex on the scooter in the parking lot wasn't the smartest idea. Actual quote from the cop as he handed me the ticket and fist bumped me.
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
She rode my dick so hard I momentarily lost hearing. I guarantee I had the better St Patrick's.
PEOPLE ARE STILL EATING FAJITAS IN DROVES. BY THE CASELOAD. THERES A FORKLIFT OF SIZZLING MEATS.
Randomize
