your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
my bf wants us to fuck our way into the new year.. how original..
I walk in and my mom takes one look at me and just says, ".... Consequences"
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
You were so drunk last night you thought you force pushed the automatic door open.
The bond between me and cheese is something no man can understand.
Totally on the hot mess express last night. Mom said I was passed out on her kitchen floor. Told her I was drinking genuine tea.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
Some Romanian guy at work just told me "you come my house, we drink beer and you come make fuck with my sister"
If he's not there watching you go for it. It's been a while bro.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
What, That's like a total 7 inches of cock and 6 are from Joe. Don't be mad at me because you had the lamest orgy ever.
Randomize
