I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
Thanksgiving break drinking is a marathon, not a sprint, and i need to be well rested
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
gave you a haircut while you slept. Please don't kill me.
They get 5 minutes to wear their speedos at the wedding
Oh my god I'll have to be really drunk for that
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Other than trying to finger me on the couch in the middle of the bar a few times, you were fine.
The difference in our lives is summed up perfectly in that you woke up next to a 6'4" guy with an accent and I woke up next to an unwrapped piece of string cheese.
I woke up naked with a Jason mask on and a fat lip. What happened last night?
So we were fooling around last night and suddenly Like A Virgin popped up on his itunes
OMG haha What did he say?
He told me that if I laughed, I would have to leave.
I mean, drunk me really liked him, maybe sober me will too. Who am I to deny fate?
I'm gonna go take a shower so I can cleanly change into my drinking underwear.
On a scale of having tea with Ghandi to the apocalypse how bad of an idea is it to drink with a 100 degree fever?
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
Randomize
