I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
So I don't think its herpes anymore. Could be a sign of diabetes though. Is it bad that I consider getting diabetes 'dodging a bullet'?
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
I just dumped out my gym water bottle and filled it with white wine. This is the end.
You offered me some of your "Jungle Juice." It was just 151 and Absinthe. I don't know how you are still alive.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
He was spooning with the dog when I came home. Now shes afriad to go near him. Should I ask?
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
So what's going on?
We hit boys town to get stupid. I mean invading Iraq stupid.
Safe to say I'm terrified but totally AMPED
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
There's no way you didn't at least start out with a dick. I obviously know there isn't one now, but there is no way that you were born a girl
We only initially bonded over boobs and sarcasm
I just broke into my house with a butter knife. It kinda scares me just how easy that was.
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