Viking lives by an ancient code of honor that we do not understand.
What code could that possibly be? Bothering the fucking shit out of people while being physically repulsive?
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
I'm hungover in the park, and some guy just handed me a business card for his church. I can feel Jesus' disapproval running through my fingertips
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I manage to fit my wine bottle in my koozie and the rest is history
going on fb and having 11 notifications all from you is absolutely horrifying
I realize that my conversation topics seem to only be about bees and my cross dressing fiance. Thank you for being my friend.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
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