i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.
dude uncooked spaghetti noodles dipped in thousand island dressing is better than it sounds
I might lose an organ but I've got booze. I'll be fine.
I don't care if I just threw up. You kiss me now. This is marriage.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
My neck is PURPLE. This is NOT a good day to be indoctrinated by the cardinal...
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
Not to be gross and awkward, but I just had sex outside in the rain on the hood of a lexus
Someone signed my nipple.
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