remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
Dude WTF? His teammate just started talkin to me on fb! Am I walking around with a "I like to f**k gators" on my forehead?
No, it just says ur easy
it sounds like her vocal chords are covered in pudding and rocks. come get me.
you sent me the whole alphabet, one letter a text. it took 15 minutes to read them all
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
The maintenance guy at work just asked me out for a drink. For once, I proudly said that I was 20.
It took years to rebuild my brains forcefield against your charm and I feel like u seal team 6'd ur way in again and caught my common sense sleeping on post
I want to get my vag crammed with complete loss of every bit of dignity I have left by this man from every angle on every flat surface that exists. That is all.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
WHO ARE THESE GUYS WHY AN ORGRY ON A MONDAY LMAO
I've been with my family a total of 20 minutes and I'm ready to go on a bender. This is going to be a long weekend.
A guy caught me talking to a sock today in the Laundry room if it makes you feel any better
Sadly that does. Why...where you talking to a sock
Bc I didn't know him and I asked him where he came from and why he was hanging out with my thongs
Randomize
