All I remember is yelling at him to admit he liked Bon Jovi, then accusing him of giving love a bad name.
just saw a DUI checkpoint outside of a taco bell...i feel like thats cheating...
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
I tried to throw up out of my window but I forgot there was a mesh screen.
I left a cheeto on everyone's car trailing to the house i'm at, hanzel and gretel style.
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
My vag is like the Sahara
Ew that's gross.
The sad truth. Barren and empty.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Dude...I slept walked to the free condom bin in the lounge last night. I don't know why.
Dude. Woke up this morning wearing that chick's panties. 8/10, would recommend. I love tequila.
I just bout myself an edible arrangement for myself and had it delivered to work. I even wrote myself a note. This is a new low for me.
And some neighbor just saw me naked and hunched over a bag of potato chips stuffing my face. Maybe clothes aren't a bad idea.
Her blowjob technique? Picture someone attempting to drink a triple thick milkshake through a Capri Sun straw.
Randomize
