My roommate and I had a nyquil contest. The nyquil won.
Just shot my load on a stink bug. Thought you should know.
The mexican place next the the funeral home has dollar margaritas, our grandfather would want us to act on this... trust me i know.
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
Interesting preview of what next year will be like. Side note, missing a chunk of flesh from my middle finger.
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Seriously I will never run in my wedges while drinking racing home to have sex ever again
That bottle of wine took a part of my soul with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Scary truckers and hobos. These are the men I attract
I have so many plans for this weekend and sobriety is not invited.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Yeah. We had phone sex then cried together, it was beautiful and heartbreaking
I am no longer embarassed by my vagina
It concerns why you would be in the first place, but I'd rather not know
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