Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
Remember when I use to call my dick 'the pendulum'
wtf?
It is now the artist formerly known as 'insideyourgirlfriend'
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
when your 30 and im 37 and we're lonely and single, lets make a pact to murder each other.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
Operation "Inform her family she stars in a sadistic lesbian porn film" is in full effect. She picked the wrong guy to cheat on.
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
It's simple. He fucks me at his place and I fuck him at my place. It's like man of the house gets to top.
I smell like Dick and happiness
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
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