Wtf. Who made this Big Mac, Helen Keller?
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
found some acid from a couple months ago while looking through christmas lights. Looks like santa came early this year.
we were going to warn you, but we veto-ed that idea somewhere between "this is the stupidest thing we've ever done" and "let's order a pizza"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Cop gave me a ticket for public drunkedness, and then I convinced him to drive me back to the party
You were spooning my trash can and I had to crumble cookies on the floor by your face to get you to eat
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Well just give me the address, I'll bring the bourbon. If they let that into mental institutions
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
Randomize