I told u I don't really remember everything lol i pretty much remember not lasting as long as I norm and that I wore a condom, I hate condoms
p.s. this guy just tipped me with ecstasy pills. is this real life
having sex with you is like teaching a dog to tango, it DOESN'T work
the crazy preacher outside Willard just began a monologue that began with "when i look at a vagina." We should stop by there more often
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
they lined up to high five me when i got taken out by the stretcher. The paramedic high fived them too
Just got complimented on my chugging... Car bombs show how good I am at swallowing, they should be my new pickup line.
Hes a nice guy and all but I'm only interested in his drunken alter ego.
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Why do I have this feeling like this is heading in a slightly threesome-y direction
Is it weird that the girl I'm fucking just wished me luck on my date tonight?
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