i sleep in a fine layer of vodka and semen. i don't know that that would appropriate for a pajama rally.
I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate
I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
He's covered in dirt and enchiladas. We're going drinking now.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I told him I had to grab my Swedish fish from the car before they froze. Then I just left. But the fact that he knew how important it was not to have my fish freeze almost made me come back in....almost.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'll be home next weekend. Its mothers day. Let's party just enough so we are frightened it might be our first
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
Oh I'm definitely going to hit on her, there's no question about that. What I meant by playing it cool is I'm not going to mount her on sight.
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
we were clicking our heels together saying theres no place like home, while the cops were tellin us to call our parents and tell them what happened.
Randomize