my boss just made his own remix to aaron carter's i want candy. i cant decide if its the funniest or most embarrassing thing ive seen
Important detail I forgot to tell you: leprechaun loves david bowie.
Walk of shame was bad enough, but farting with each step as I walked past his roommates was just not cosmically fair.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
I smell like fire and strippers. Successful sunday funday.
Dude squirt doesnt even begin to describe it i thought she was the lost portal to atlantis with how much she let out
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
I think that girl got really offended when I made out with baby Jesus.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
But seriously, I hug most of my drug dealers.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
He stopped in the middle of having sex to ask me what shampoo I use. Apparently my hair smelled good
He just made my one night stand pancakes for breakfast. And I thought living with my ex was going to be weird.
I'm not asking for life coaching, I'm just asking if you know where I left my underpants.
Randomize
