Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
There's just something about sucking a flaccid dick that makes me feel so calm. Like a baby cow..
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
I'm over this relationship. I'm just going to get drunk all day, wake up in a puddle of my own vomit again, and go on with my life
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
You threw up? Were you ladylike while you did it? I'm wagering that you were. Like a Disney princess. Like a "Puke Me Pretty" Barbie.
It's just good to know that when I drink like a twenty year old I still act like one.
those were not strange pants with a really large waist band...it took me 3 days to realize I was wearing someone's sweater as pants
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
...this is why fuck buddies should be only for grownups.
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