For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just had an epiphany. There is NOTHING TO STOP ME from making cake mix and eating it all instead of making a cake. It feels like my entire life has peaked at this moment.
and im sitting here waiting for them to work on my car. in a room full of men. that are too old for me. its like a sausage fest nightmare...
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
We almost forgot to tip the maids, so we left the rest of the gin, some tonic water and a lime. They earned it
I wore granny panties last night to ensure I didn't sleep with him. He said they made me seem more mature. I need a new plan
Old woman told me I looked like her son and then she started explaining to me how she wanted me to fuck her
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
He responded to all of my texts prodding for dirty talk with "I will do anything you are comfortable with."\n\nChivalry is great, but being comfortable doesn't get me wet.
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
I can't say too many people would say watching their drunk best friends fuck in a hot tub is very normal.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
Randomize
