Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
the amount of chicks and firearms here is unnerving. this will end awesomely or at the morgue.
So are you actually going to come fuck me in the ass this weekend, or was that just you being drunk in a kilt?
You've gotta make sure the carpets match the drapes, though.
I am not dying my bush blue.
New low. Just realized I hooked up with a guy from Grindr in the hallway of a building my great grandfather used to own..
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
so getting blacked out last night has made my lips so beautifully red for pictures today... and they say nothing good comes from alcohol
I actually had to apologize for "being too aggressive about harry potter"
Dick. I'll go round and break his windows. I've been watching Sons of Anarchy on Netflix.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
What do you want. Tryin to service my husband like the good wife that I am. It is bj Tuesday
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
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