you were calling yourself Ulickes S. Cunt.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
I don't drink during the week.... well, except for Bailey's Tuesdays, which I have to start implementing further.
Just think, this time last Cinco de Mayo you were holding me up and finding me passed out in the yard of that house.
I have to cancel. My sons dad is out of jail unexpectedly and i'm kinda an emotional wreck. P.s. This is not the life I dreamed of as a little girl.
She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Give me a reason to not spend the rest of my evening high watching dogs 101 videos
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
Walgreens has pop rocks. Be prepared to get your dick sucked.
will a lunchtime blow job make it better?
Such a big mess for such a small penis
OHMYGOD YOU REALLY THINK I'D BE ON OPRAH?!
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
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