Is there a reason "Call me when you're legal" is written on my arm? I'm 22..
I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
this crazy girl in up in Dennys is going crazy because Bob Saget just texted her.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I just told you I can't. My fingers are melting. I have discovered the high.
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
On Wednesday I'm putting wine in a water bottle and crashing Margaret thatchers funeral
Wow my largely unnecessary pool of lizard-related knowledge finally came in handy. Are you proud?
I don't know what to say
I woke up in his bed wearing nothing but a penn state hat. We are....
He flew in from NY last night. We had sex in the back of my car in the airport parking lot and then he fed me fresh Babka (from Breads Bakery) as I drove him home. I can't decide if I love him or Babka more.
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
