So he ended up having sex with me, but it was so awkward. When it was over, he went to the bathroom, and he came back and asked, "are you on your period or something? there's blood on my dick..." and i said, "well it was supposed to start today, nice surprise...i am so embarrassed." and he said ,"it's better than you queefing." and as soon as he said that, i queef the hardest and loudest i ever had.
I woke up to the bathroom door of steak n shake hitting me in the face at 4 in the morning...
He's either a really good actor or an actual prince, I'm fine with both so I'll sleep with him.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
I'm out of mixers so I am using sugar water. Times are tough.
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
currently googling "apology gifts for when you poop on their floor"
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
Drinks have officially taken priority over self-respect, and I'm not even all that torn up about it.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
Randomize
