Today's life lesson: fat girls should not wear tight miniskirts and vinyl leggings. This Forever 21 salesgirl is a hot mess.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I'm legit concerned I might pass out this weekend from having too much sex.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
not good my parents heard a big thud and found me passed out in the bathrrom abt an hr ago. hit my head arm and side. dont remember. real talk.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Found out it was only pneumonia. We celebrated hydrocodone cough syrup. Two long island ice teas at lunch and the random white powder we found in her purse. Mother of the year award.
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
I'm just so full of love and alcohol
I'm hungover and eating lunch at an elementary school. The children are barking. Litrealy barking, like dogs.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
Randomize
