She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
as he left, i held up my fist and said "pound it out" and he was like "are you serious, we just had sex..."
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Either I put my underwear on inside out and wore it like that all day, or I had sex with him. Its sad I have to guess.
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
But he does seem to be getting proper humping etiquette down. So there's progress.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
hes that one kid that offered to spoon after staring at me for 5 minutes
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
Slept on the bathroom floor again. I hope when I turn 28 I’ll stop doing that
He may have been a dick but he DID give me his Netflix log in. Maybe some good did come of it.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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