I wish i was in the wii world.
All I want to do right now is burp, puke, and fart. In that order.
Someday soon you'll wake up next to a bottle of jameson and a half eaten lean cuisine and then you'll be just like me.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
OMG HE JUST PUKED WITH THE DOOR OPEN WHILE DRIVING ON THE ROAD AND OMG WE NEED TO CHAT BUT NOT ATM CAUSE THERES PUKE ON MY PHONE
Sweet. Warning: i have been drinking at work since 4. Plan accordingly.
Stoned, and eating Doritos, and reading about lesbians for class. This is the life.
Nevermind, there are three drinks waiting at the bar for me. I cannot disappoint this alcohol.
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
He fucking took my shirt off and didn't even touch my boobs. What the actual fuck.
how do you casually eat pancakes with someone after they send you an unsolicited dick pic?
you don't. it's the point of no return for pancake enjoyment.
How does one un superglue their foot to the floor
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
I'm not sure how long my penis is exactly, but I will tell you it resembles a bendy straw
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