dude I just sharted for the first time ever, kind of gross
well what did you think, shitting your pants would be fun
omg. why did you never tell me how amazing shitting and smoking is?
i thought this knowledge was automatically promulgated at the age of eighteen?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
he told me he expects me to keep the fangs on when i go down on him. presumptuous, yes, but man after my own heart.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Asking the cop for directions wearing a lion mask may not have been my best moment...
Im in his room watching him sleep. Im going to try and jerk off and not get caught by the nurse.
And I just want to be like your tongue is not a FUCKING sword
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
i found waldo and immediately set him to work eating me out. please have more out of season costume parties.
Bonded with the ladies at the perfume outlet by saying "help me smell like i'm not hungover before my shift starts". This is not where I wanted my life to be
Exactly best part of my night he took of his shirt and surprise traveler fanny pack
When you make me feel sane and well-adjusted, it is time to reevaluate your night out habits. Just sayin'.
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
First time a guy goes down on me and his dog had its head on my knee the whole time. I swear it was judging me.
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