I can't watch pbs sober anymore
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
Those former-lesbian gone white-trash bars always seem to be your favorite.
Weird shit dude, I just realized that the girl I fucked last night looks like Shaun White's twin sister. I dunno if I should be scared or turned on
I hope her Double McTwist was as good as his
why does the wii remote smell like your vag?
Well, there goes the no drunk sex injuries resolution.
It felt like getting blasted with a supersoaker filled with vagina juice.
Someone was asleep on the couch next to us and woke up. We paused and he yelled "gentlemen, behold! Sex!"
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
Randomize
