I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
i just realized i have an entire drawer dedicated to the clothes of guys ive shacked with...
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
We were all definitely blackout with drunk goggles on, even though you and Amanda were the only ones dressed up as it.
you picked up the vacuum cleaner at one point and said you we gonna beat the shit out of me with it. that was kinda funny
the evidence from last night is not good...
what evidence?
my underwear is on inside out, and there are french fries in my hair...
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
Personally, if my roommate had a nice friend who made me dinner, gave me free beer, a 4am meal, a couch to sleep on in an apartment on the beach, and breakfast when I woke up, and I found out that said roommate was fucking her, I'd be all... right on! She's cool! Thanks for the quesadillas!
it is my last wish that my tale be published posthumously as a warning to anyone thinking of eating burger king at nine am
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
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