8:17pm: So, How was fun day?
1:15am: So I just woke up in my bed in my bathing suit... I don't remember getting into bed or dinner or anything after slip n slide that happened around five... I'd say fun day was a success
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
She's a freak. I've got the scars to prove it.
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
Thanks in advance for a great weekend. Sorry your roommates are going to hate you after I leave. They need to loosen up anyways.
We can just keep having sex until one of us finds someone we actually like
so an orgy is about to happen in the next room if you wondered where i am currently at in life
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
So the 25yr old smokeshow I fucked last night said "Prepare to be disappointed" as he put the condom on. I was. 40 is bullshit.
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
THERE'S MORE TO LIFE THAN JUST MISSIONARY
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Why are there condoms taped to the handle of Tito’s?
I get horny when I drink, pregnant when I fuck and I never lose the booze unlike my purse
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